Old Posts, Old Friends, recycled thoughts.

I just read some old posts, and they included comments from people I didn't realize I had known so long, including M and K Francis, Kai, Elizabeth R, RW, Aunty Bic, (Vic), Simeon, and others.

I had no idea it's been so long, I feel old, and blessed to have such friends, even though I don't see them often. I recently told someone I don't like that word, blessed, but in this context it's true. I was reading way back in 2005 when I was coming home from Grad school, and I didn't realize I had become such a part of St. Hermans that I mattered to all these people. I guess we were all blogging a lot back then too, commenting all over the place, but what an archive of interaction. I love it. I am so glad this archive is here, so I will continue, and perhaps publicize it again, and rant a bit so as to garner a reaction, of any sort, so you post a thought and I can look back in 10 more years and remember fondly this interaction. I guess it's like an old letter, but better, because it doesn't take up space. I'm a sucker for history like this.

I miss a lot of people. Fernie is epic. We do everything I have ever wanted to do, but we won't buy a house here, it's like langley/surrey prices and with one income, it's just not happening. I would move to chilliwack if I were in the mainland still, and we could do it there, but our church is growing slowly, we are getting a steady priest who is moving to Cranbrook, and I think it will be good.

I have been biking in the snow, it's not so bad. I don't like being wet, but I don't mind being cold. Vancouver, such a legend, and yet just a place. I turned off the hockey game tonight, it was ok, but just kind of useless. It's just a piece of rubber, and yet we invest so much meaning into it.

I see so much religion in our empty activities, so much passion and belief in things like sport and hobbies. I do it too, I find identity in it, and it's something I have fought or mused on for a long time. I wrote an essay in Grade 11 ( I got such a good mark and high praise for it that I remember it vividly) about putting on and changing our identities. I 'became' orthodox. I am orthodox. I am a Husband and Father. I am a teacher. I am a hunter, fisherman, cycling/running enthusiast (running?) I pine for the fjords, or perhaps just a few acres of land. I identify myself in different ways and I think this is a huge issue for belief, faith, and existence in general. I think when we find something to identify ourselves with, we don't feel the lack of other things, which might be why wealthy moderns like myself (who have more than we need of everything) don't need God. why would we?

Also, I miss silence and meditation, yoga, spiritual discipline and things like that. I feel like I am always in survival mode, like the panic button has been down for 5 years (since we had kids) and I wonder if that feeling goes away, because I wish I could teach my kids about silence, but I am nowhere near practicing it. Except when I hunt or run. but really that's not the same. Though I wonder if there is a connection there.

I love my job, but it's also frustrating. So many kids don't come with an assumption that the teacher knows what they are talking about. It's a little weird, I don't know if I felt that way, but I know I had respect for certain teachers as experts, that's for sure. Where did that come from? the respect or disrespect? Is it the family? or the teacher? or both? It seems to me that our system is not functioning very well, but what is the answer? fix it from within? head for the hills and start a commune?



elizabeth said...

I totally hear you. And your creating of the S.I. blog lead me to create my blog, which lead me to the life I Have now. And MANY care for you and your family. I am SO glad to hear of a priest coming to your area!!! Blogging has changed but it is still good and God is with us. I've heard the same with the teachers and students and lack of respect; it's really sad. But don't give up; those kids desperately NEED good teachers even if they don't know it!!!

God keep you well! and your lovely family!!!

Donna Farley said...

"So many kids don't come with an assumption that the teacher knows what they are talking about. " Bwaaahahhahahaaa! the more things change the more they stay the same. :)

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”-- Socrates

Victoria said...

I do NOT miss the lowermainland. you'd move to chilliwack!!?? vraiment???

Mr. P said...

well it seems like a good compromise, clean air (oh wait) and hunting and fishing, and a church starting up.

I don't know how much of that is just missing St. Hermans.

Also, Matushka, I love the quote, it makes me feel much much better. :)