1.19.2013

On thinking too much

Today I told my mom about the video for a song called 'Thrift Shop' and if you haven't seen it and can handle a few f#@* bombs, it is BRILLIANT.

And then I am watching hockey, and overthinking it too. some days I realize that its just a habit that I think and I hem and haw and wonder if it really is worth it, or a good way to spend time, but what would I do alternatively? watch TV?  And what is national identity? Am I really a Canadian, and should I really be embracing that? should I find my identity so strongly in the church that I ignore things like professional sports? and then there is downhill skiing and snowboarding, one of the best mountains in the world is 2km away, and we could get our kids into these expensive sports, but should we? so many questions that I think are answered by preference rather than divine will or any sort of explicit expectation, as long as it is done in the right spirit.

Life is so different here. We are becoming different people, more our own, but do I want to be who I am becoming without the influence of beautiful holy people that I left behind? and what influences am I  ensuring will continue to push me in the right direction? At the moment, Dave Ramsey and William Lane Craig. Monthly liturgy in cranbrook with people I like and respect, but that is much different than living at church.

There are things I know I love to do, and there are things that I can basically take or leave. I loved spending so much time hunting this past fall. The silence, being alone, and being with animals, interacting (mostly scaring them away)
I love kitchen dance parties with the kids, wrestling downstairs in the playroom.
I love singing. church.
my job is pretty great.

I think snowboarding is really really fun, but I could probably take or leave it, like hockey, which I enjoy, especially with others, but won't be sad if I miss a game, or a season.


It made me very happy when Z wanted to read the kids church book again tonight. And the french book. Both made me feel pretty good.

1.13.2013

rest and discipline. On being a tangry grouch. (tired+angry=tangry)

Something I have been taking for granted lately is rest. I have gotten back into that habit of staying up just a bit later, 11 maybe, and then being tired and grouchy, and doing it many days in a row until I am a nasgul. or something. And it's not that staying up late is necessarily bad, but I am not 21 anymore, and I can't really take naps that often to catch up, and why start out with debt anyway? I might as well go to bed early. I remember being so pumped about choir that I would intentionally, with military discipline, go to bed by 9pm. Every night. IN HIGH SCHOOL. so that I was ready to wake up early and be on time. (it is possibly my parents would argue about this, but it is how I remember it)
Now, because I am the only one around to do the discipline, I am not there. It is a constant theme, perhaps it is a muscle I can work out and develop. Here's hoping.
Lord have mercy.