oh life

the leftovers from last nights post church get together watched hotel rwanda. what a way to end a strangely full day. got up early to go to vangroovy for some contact lenses, my rad sister drove all the way there. talked to my Dad about his brother passing away. Shaved my beard (not completement) raced back to TWU to get Tessa on time for class. worked. went to the canon of St. Andrew and heard the life of St. Mary of Egypt. I think we all identify with her, because her pre-saintly days were the opposite of saintly. like us. It was easy to humble myself before her image, knowing how strongly she fought her demons, and how she struggled to overcome sin.

I have been learning that we are able to fight temptation, we are able to overcome it, and sometimes we are even delivered completely from it.

If I ever get too language-y, I am sorry. I hate subculture language, it drives me crazy, but I think I probably am guilty of using it from time to time. sorry.

but I used to think that we had no choice in the matter of sin, that it was just going to happen, but no. we have the choice to sin or not to sin.

fight. hard.


Ed Doerksen said...

interesting post there Dave. I wish I had been in that class on St. Mary of Egypt. sounded interesting.

you take care buddy.

Magdalen said...

'Rage rage against the dying of the light.'
I have lately been winning battles against some personal temptations, and noticing how the enemy reacts when we fight back. he is a coward, lashing out with lame insults and parlor tricks. The equivalent of the school-yard bully who, when stood up to with real strength, backs down and mutters "yeah, well no one really likes you anyway."
What a baby.
Just two weeks to go until Holy Friday. Get ready, get set...

cathedral dweller said...

the one things i've relearned is that no sin or temptation is absolutely defeated without continual vigilance, watchfulness, nepsis.

Old temptations I thought I put away a long time ago come up again sometimes. The devil will try the old ones I thought I totally had beaten but then I get proud and the devil takes advantage of the laziness of pride and self-congratulations. The minutes I let my gaurd down - BANG!

I'm not done repenting and learning how to be watchful until I've crossed the line into death. I can never remember this story properly but I think was about St. Macarius. He was nearing death and his soul was departing from his body - he was half through the door so to speak. A demon says to him as his soul begins to cross the threshold of death, "Macarius, you're almost there. You've made it to here just fine. Now relax for a while. You've arrived. You can quite repenting because your done." And Macarius rebukes the demon and says he his not done repenting until he is in bossom of the Lord. Or something like that. I always forget exactly how Macarius rebukes the demon.

Anyway. Watchfulness. Don't leave home without it.

pasivirta said...

indeed. good words, I always undulate, probably exactly like you were talking about. guard? down. cocky, pride before the fall.

Simply Victoria said...

I remember reading about St.Mary of Egypt, (I think she spent, what, 30 or 40 years in the desert?), that the first 17 years were the hardest.
That, my friends, is perseverence.
God is that stubborn in his love for us, but few are as stubborn in their love for God as St.Mary.
Yet another reason to love, venerate, admire her.
Pray for us St.Mary of Egypt.

sacrecoeur said...

yeah, we do have the choice not to sin. and yeah, its a hard battle we have to fight. but the only way we can win is God's grace. ask for it and it will be there.