being is beautiful and hard

I have spread myself so thin lately that I must pull the cord before it hits the fan, and then clean up.

I am content, but isn;t lent meant to be slow and soft, low light and minor keys?

instead I have been living at 150 miles an hour, hearing chipmunks singing in the background because the record is going faster than normal.

I go to utah this weekend for a conference, and I am working on selling tickets to the Mozart Requiem.

and, I want to go to church.

Lord, have mercy. breathe, in, out, whew.


biss said...

Both last lent and this and this one have seen me working full time again, and the Nativity fast was crazy-busy. Personally, I think it's a conspiracy.
Just take heed: do not let the busyness get the better of you. As life speeds up, adjust your attitude and sense of calm accordingly.
And, yeah, church is good. The "long, boring" services are actually perfect for bringing you back to stillness and the inner deep.

In the words of Kelly Clarkson (I think): "Breathe, just breathe."

The question is: do I go back to bed for an hour, or head to work for 7?

pasivirta said...

I fully agree, the only problem with the long services is that I sing in the choir, which makes it one more thing to do...maybe holy nativity tonight.

Matthew Francis said...

Your feeling, which I wholeheartedly identify with these days, reminds of these words of the Prophet Isaiah:

"For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. But you refused and said, "No! We will flee upon horses" — therefore you shall flee! and, "We will ride upon swift steeds" — therefore your pursuers shall be swift! A thousand shall flee at the threat of one, at the threat of five you shall flee, until you are left like a flagstaff on the top of a mountain, like a signal on a hill.
Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. (Isaiah 30.15-18)

Magdalen said...

Perhaps singing in the long services are a good thing, rather than a negative one. A way for you to serve God and the community, and draw closer to Him this Lent. I know, it's exhausting. Yes, Lent is supposed to be a time to quiet down your life to make room for prayer, but that's not the same as being tranquil and calm yourself. It's also a warfare, and as such, it's not easy or quiet at all.
Hang in there brother. Have a good time in Utah, and come back safe to us.

pasivirta said...

true true...

kimberley said...

I like this Matthew:
Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you;


He tells us to come back and rest, to calm down & take it easy. What's our response? We are all galloping around on our horses, ignoring his providence.

To everything there is a season:
A time to gallop; A time to rest.


MatDonna said...

"Lent, slow and soft"?

Lent, to what shall I compare thee.....how about Peter Jackson's portrayal of Helm's Deep?

yeah. That's more like it. ;-)

pasivirta said...

Matushka, that is honestly reassuring. strangely enough.