11.18.2005

Grandpa Springer

I think there is rain in my heart. or out.
My Grandpa, on my mom's side, one of my favourite people in the world, and has been for a very long time, introduced me to fishing, took me traipsing through the bush, he grew up a part of the woods and wilderness, raised foxes, hunted, fished, trapped, essentially passing that love of being outside to me, he is a beautiful man.
He got so hurt and then mad at me today because I was baptized in the orthodox church. re-baptized some would call it. I tried to explain sacrament and symbol, and something about the church, but he didn't really know how to listen, and is so much entrenched in sola scriptura. I shouldn't have said it, but I mentioned infant baptism, that got him even more riled, I couldn't believe it at first, and tried to talk to him sort of jovially, but then I saw he was really mad, almost shouting. I have never in my life been so surprised by hurt. my grandpa does not hurt people. he shouted at me and said infant baptism was wrong.
please don't start this debate in the comment section, that is not the point of why I am writing this.
I hate that orthodoxy is so hard to understand, so strange, so divisive, so hurtful. It really makes sense, that verse about "I did not come to bring peace, but a sword..." and then the part about dividing sons and fathers, daughters and mothers, I kno it. w Grandpa is from a different generation, he was saved through someone preaching on a street corner. God Bless him, and lord have mercy on me. I love him, but I don't ever want to talk about orthodoxy with him, and I don't want to be fake, so I don't know what to talk about. I don't get it. I thought if I keep this up I am going to cry, so I just shut up and let him finish and didn't respond, and cried on my way home in the car, listening to beautiful russian church music. I know what I have tasted and seen, I can't explain it.



O taste and see that the Lord is good, Lord have mercy.

5 comments:

Simply Victoria said...

wow dave.
that's...
I don't know.
my own grandfather was a very strong, very devout anglican priest. i'm sure it was his prayers that protected from a lot in my life.
he died when i was 13.
i'm not sure what he would have said about my orthodoxy.
but we did lose a lot of friends when we became orthodox.
we hadn't expected that.
they were close christian friends, and for all our explanations, we could not get them to understand, let alone be happy for us.
in their minds, we'd essentially become catholics, and consequently, legalistic, ritual-loving, doomed-to-spritual-death christians.
it was frustrating and hurtful.
we are blessed to have such a wonderful community, and such great orthodox friends, but I still miss my old friends sometimes, and wish they could have gotten past it. some did. not many.

RW said...

Dave,
My heart goes out to you. The sword is apt as sometimes the physical piercing pain I feel during such moments as you described be what I think it must feel like to have someone pierce your heart. Why does it have to be so brutal and painful. I come from a family of non-Christians and my mum is stridently anti-religious... the choices we make have been very difficult for my blood relatives...

"who is my brother and sister"

I shall pray for your grandfather too.

Neo said...
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pasivirta said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
pasivirta said...

Lord Have Mercy.

I erased some comments I felt would/could cause unnecessary pain/division, one being my own response, but here, in case anyone is interested, is the back half of what I said.




have to remember that there a lot of people who read this who are not orthodox, and I love them all, and many who are not orthodox who love God and serve Him with their whole lives, who are united to us mysteriously in ways we can't grasp, as though we reach through the concrete walls we assign to our understanding of the church, and hold each others hand.